Commentfic Monenday

[bleodswean]

Commentfic Monenday! Comment with a prompt as many times as you'd like. Respond to another's prompt as many times as you'd like. Dracula / Nosferatu focus.


Commentfic is a type of fanfiction prevalent on journaling sites, such as LiveJournal or DreamWidth. The term derives from the fact that the fanfiction is written and then posted in the comment field of a journal entry.

Comments

[bleodswean]

Nosferatu 1922, Nosferatu & Coffin, this weight

[bleodswean]

Nosferatu 2024, Ellen/Count Orlok, the scent of lilacs

responding to my own prompt

[bleodswean]

Her mother had smelt of lilacs, lying in state, hands folded prettily around a rosary from the old country. The child wanted nothing more than to climb inside the box and lie with her mother, lay her head on her mother’s breast, and have her own lips sewn shut. She had seen the stitches when she pressed her face close to hers. She had also seen the crescent moons of her mother’s eyes and wondered why her mother would sleep with her eyes cracked open. She had been slapped soundly when she had asked questions about any of this. The odour, the gossamer thread, the white slit of cornea. It had been her father’s brutish palm, of course, and Miss Plum, the nanny, urged her out of the parlor and back up the stairs and into the nursery which welcomed her like a diseased friend in a sick bed.

Her mother had a small and perfectly pruned lilac tree in a pot in the conservatory. Her mother had a talcum between her chafing thighs that smelled of flowers. She hid in the voluminous skirts until finally admonished and shamed in front of her uncle by her father and she remembered her mother’s face, the sadness. Her father was gifted at separating souls and dessicating them with a bitter tincture of loneliness.

Anna’s mouth had tasted of lilacs, but that was, of course, nonsensical. Had she ever touched the tip of her tongue to the riot of purple flowers as they dripped scent like petals? Anna had been the one to demure once she was engaged to Friedrich. And Friedrich watched her with an unblinking gaze of a snake like the one trapped behind a pane of spitty glass at the Tierpark that she swore had whispered a reptilian secret to her that day she and Anna had wandered to and fro arm in arm.

Friedrich brought his friend, Thomas, into her world. Her world was a cramped and contained thing, she a living corpse inside a satin lined coffin. Thomas ripped off the lid and insisted she step out and join him in spaces so wide and open and full of fresh air that when she was with him her heart soared like a bird and the sun darkened her skin and warmed her blood and she smelled nothing more than salted ocean air and long-grassed meadows and trees that bloomed with pink tulips.

That world was akin to the worlds one visits in a dream. Somehow, Thomas had made the dreaming world a waking one and her nightmares returned whenever she slept, dreams were for the days, nights were for the hauntings. Tortured flesh, piercing teeth, menstrual blood, the impossible weight pressing down upon her, the prick of pleasure, the sigh of release and the scent of lilacs like a nosegay masking the stench of her lover’s flesh and bone.

Re: responding to my own prompt

[earthspirits]

Beautiful, E., just beautiful, and so very evocative.

I love the subtle references to E's love for her friend Anna, and visa versa, and how Friedrich intervened, destroying that delicate love.

Also, how Thomas was a breath of fresh air to E. - most especially that last perfect paragraph, describing her days followed by the haunted nights.

And of course, the theme of lilacs woven throughout!

Re: responding to my own prompt

[bleodswean]

Thank you, G! This certainly is a creative fandom - endless possibilities it seems to me! I enjoyed writing this and I'm so happy you enjoyed reading it!

What's another challenge we can post? I'm about halfway through the novel. So many scribbled notes. I'm surprised this wasn't taught when I was an English major!

Re: responding to my own prompt

[earthspirits]

You're most welcome, E. : )

I must say, I'm really enjoying this comm!

And yes, I'm surprised Stoker's novel wasn't taught in class. It's so perfect for that.

Hmmm - challenges.

We've done prompts based on quotations (which I really love) - but how about prompts based on pictorial images? The writer could base their story or dabble on a photo from a film, or an illustration from a book or story? As an artist, this appeals to me!

Re: responding to my own prompt

[bleodswean]

Ooooh! I love image prompts! Think of something clever for Tearsday and post it! Make a banner, too!

Re: responding to my own prompt

[earthspirits]

I was at work yesterday, so unable to post an image prompt, but will definitely do so in the near future. Do you want to keep image prompts to Tuesdays? Or?

Re: responding to my own prompt

[smokingboot]

This is rich and piercing, lovely. Thank you for it.

[bleodswean]

Dracula, Jonathan Harker/fair young woman, "I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me with those red lips."

[earthspirits]

Here you go, E.! : )


The count eyed Jonathan Harker up and down, and actually smirked at him. Was it Harker's imagination, or was his host actually looking quite young? He could swear the man looked no more than his mid twenties. How very strange. Even more shocking - had he actually just winked at him?

Nervously, the realtor chanced a glance at the pale young woman who sat beside Dracula. A rather pleased smile touched the corners of her full crimson mouth as she looked first at the aristocrat, than at Harker.

"Up for a game of chance, Mr. Harker?" the count asked in his rich, sonorous voice. One elegant, long fingered hand reached into his brocaded vest pocket, and produced a battered deck of playing cards. Casually, he laid them on the mahogany table, and with a bored air, ruffled their edges. "You might be lucky, and make a big win," he added temptingly.

"I...I'm not much for gambling," Harker stuttered. "Besides, I don't really have the funds to...um...play for high stakes."

The girl laughed.

Dracula smirked again. "High stakes? Oh, very clever, Mr. Harker, very clever." He picked a card from the stack before him, and studied it for a moment. "Hmmm...The Ace of Spades. Unfortunate. Shall we try again? I think so." He threw the card down, and deftly plucked two more from the deck.

He held the cards up, with the backs turned towards Harker, and showed them to his lady companion. "Do you like these, my angel?"

"Oh yes...Much better," she replied, casting another smoldering glance at Harker.

"I thought you might," he said fondly. He turned towards his guest. "As for high stakes..." He gave a sardonic laugh. "Don't worry about that." He paused for a moment, and then grinned, displaying a set of beautiful, even white teeth. The count really was quite handsome, Harker suddenly realized. Why had he ever thought him unattractive? But his canine teeth seemed awfully sharp...too sharp.

Ignoring Harker's obvious anxiety, Dracula stretched out his hand, placing the two cards, face-up, in front of the young man. "What do you say...shall we...play?"

Harker stared at the cards. The King and Queen of Hearts. What on earth was he missing here? He felt completely out of his depth.

"Well, Mr. Harker? What shall it be?" the count asked. He stood up, and with the grace of a tiger, moved around the table, finally stopping just behind Harker.

The realtor felt that long-fingered hand drift to his shoulder, gently caressing him through the thin silk of his shirt. At Dracula's touch, Harker shuddered, as pleasure, delicious and totally unexpected, suddenly coursed through his body.

Dracula bent down, and his long dark hair, smelling faintly of some exotic perfume, fell across his guest's shoulders. Turning, Harker met the other man's eyes. They were brilliant, dark as the night sky, promising paradise beyond imagining.

"Do you wish to play with us?" Dracula said softly. Distantly, Harker heard the woman's high sweet voice, echoing the count's question.

"Yes," Harker murmured dreamily. "Oh, yes..." And as Dracula leaned in to kiss him, he smiled.

[bleodswean]

*YUMMY* G, this is fantastic! Very smexy and I love that you included Dracula! I can't believe this leapt out of you in such quick order. I love how complete it is, the dialogue moves it along quickly while staying with Harker's POV. And the King and Queen of Hearts?! That was inspired! Well done!

[earthspirits]

Thank you so much, E. - glad you enjoyed!

Yes, I was feeling quite inspired (which felt really nice) and just let the words flow. So, thank you, my friend, for the lovely prompt!

In fact, I had so much fun writing this one, that I did a little subtle editing, fleshed out the vampire lady and her relationship with the count a bit more, and posted the revised version on AO3. : )

Thanks for sharing this

[smokingboot]

Perfect laughing wickedness!

Re: Thanks for sharing this

[earthspirits]

Thank you! I do like a flirty count! : )

[earthspirits]

Of course, the Dracula quote would lure me in! I'll be back later with something interesting!

[bleodswean]

*waits impatiently*